Homeschool Review: Abby Ludvigson's Sex By Design #hsreviews #purity #growingup #rightchoices

If you are the parent of a tween, teen, college student, or young adult or even know one -- or if you ever watch television or view social media -- then you are aware that there is a purity crisis in America.  The statistics are overwhelming because satan is out to steal, kill, and destroy our kids.  he wants them for his very own and we must equip them to stand against the lies that he feeds them.  BUT DID YOU KNOW that YOU are the very key to changing this?   I realize that for some parents, a discussion of purity and sex can be an uneasy conversation, but it is a necessary one for the hearts and lives of those we hold most dear.  I believe this with every ounce of who I am and I count it my privilege to be able to introduce you to one of the most phenomenal resources that I've seen in the area of teaching those we love about sexual purity.  Abby Ludvigson's Sex by Design:  Unpacking the Purpose and Practice of Purity is a beautiful resource for parents and for churches and it is my privilege to share it with you.

We have never been shy about discussing purity and GOD's design for sex within marriage with our children and have prayed with and for them that they will withstand the temptations of the world.  We believe in purity and abstinence and teach that to our children.  My girls have been presented purity rings and read books that discuss the importance of purity.  We've attended purity events and I've held purity weekends at church.  We have done all of those things together and stood boldly in our belief that sex is designed by GOD for a special covenant bond between a husband and a wife.  And then I met my friend, Abby, who is a woman after GOD's own heart.  Abby is a gifted communicator who desires to help parents become courageous leaders of hard conversations.  She is on-mission to equip families to make a Biblical response to what the world considers normal and okay.  She is personable and she is fun and she challenges teens to live out a life of purity by saying no to the culture and yes to GOD throughout the Bible studies and videos of Sex by Design.

Sex by Design is the total package and I want to recommend that EVERY SINGLE FAMILY SHOULD HAVE IT in their arsenal of hope against a sex-obsessed culture.  It is a video resource, but it is also a Bible study resource for parents and teens that opens the door to conversation in a way that I haven't often seen.  As such, Sex by Design is perfect for family viewing, Bible Study, accountability, and discipleship.  Divided into 7 sessions, Abby walks you through what it means to live a life of true purity by explaining why GOD calls us to such.  She is frank and specific and presents facts and data wrapped up in the plan that GOD lays out for us in HIS Word.  She discusses STDs and the emotional toil that sex before marriage will have on you for the rest of your life.  She is genuine and she is real.  Abby challenges students to choose to live a life of sexual purity on the authority that it can be done.  She knows, because she's done it -- she's walked the walk of sexual purity and understands that it isn't easy.  Abby offers testimony that GOD has our very best at heart and she teaches us all how to stand with HIM.
The Sex by Design resource package consists of two guide books (Parent Edition and Teen Edition), a DVD film series, and access to additional resources and activities for each topic discussed.  The film series contains an Intro for Parents (or leaders) where Abby explains what to expect and how to best use the resource and 7 segments of training for both parent and teen.  The segments are filmed before a live audience of teens (male and female so it is relevant to both) and cover the following topics:  Plan Ahead, Counting the Cost, Dating Differently, Sex, Modesty, Pornography, and Starting Over.  Each video segment lasts from 17-25 minutes and is designed as a starting place for open discussion within the home.  The segments open with interviews of real people sharing their stories.  While this is not a sex education course, Abby most definitely discusses GOD's plan for sex within marriage (the PURPOSE of purity) and the emotional and physical repercussions when we choose to thwart that plan.  She explains how to put realistic steps into place to follow-through on the action of saving sex for marriage (the PRACTICE of purity) and continually reminds us that we are a parent/teen TEAM.

The Parent Edition guide book is a softcover book of  169-pages.  It is written TO THE PARENT (or group leader) and serves as the teacher's manual for the series.  It teaches you how to use the "3 Levels of Learning" that will move through discussion questions into activities designed for digging deeper so that your teens move from a head knowledge to a heart conviction, and will help you help your child develop a plan of action to see them through a lifestyle of purity.  (YES!  They CAN do this!) The Parent Edition provides the entire script of each film segment and mirrors the content of the Teen Edition, but goes even further in sharing discussion tips for you to use as you dive deeper into each conversation with your teen and offers specific resources that you will find helpful for each discussion topic right in the margin.  It further points you to the resource segment online that contains books and articles by leading Christian communicators and authors, additional videos that pertain to the key topics addressed throughout the videos, and downloads that correlate to the facts and statistics Abby shares in her talks.  This is pure gold, folks.  You absolutely won't find a better hands-on resource than this.

Written directly TO THE TEEN in conversational tone, the softcover Teen Edition guide book contains 112-pages and is divided into topic segments to correspond with the film segments.  Each segment begins with a personal note from Abby (different than the note found in the Parent Edition), has a Film Outline or viewing guide to be used to take notes while you watch the corresponding segment, follow-up Discussion Questions, and an invitation to apply what you've heard to your real life.  

Both books are full color and inviting. You want to use them and write in them and open your Bible and study.  Abby has written a special Bible Study for each of the 7 discussion topics that you can use to help your child move from head to heart as discussed in the "3 Levels of Learning".  The big thing to note is that these Bible studies are relevant to teens and adults alike.  Do them alongside your kids.  Read GOD's Word together, pray together, know HIM together.  She also includes a section in the very back of both guide books called The 1st Peter Principle that offers a space for writing notes on how you will take action to keep a purity focus (1 Peter 3:15).  This section gives additional suggestions on books to read and hands-on ways to follow through your commitment to GOD.

Sex by Design is not used to its fullest potential as a quick 7-week Bible study.  Although you could choose to do it that way by simply watching the video segments and moving on, it is my opinion that you would do a disservice to yourself and to your teens to not take some time to really work through the entire package.  This is such good material that I am going to use it as a marriage and family credit for my high schooler, too.

And while Sex by Design is perfectly laid out for parents to do with their teens, it is also appropriately written so that it can be done in a small group setting.  I am so in love with this purity resource that I am planning to use it in our middle school ministry next year, but we started with a focus group of high school girls (seven girls in 9th through 11th grade) that have come through our middle school ministry and are willing to truly dive into all aspects of the program and honestly share with me how they feel the middle schoolers will respond.  Being older and wiser, they are quick to offer suggestions on how we should approach certain aspects of the topics in a group setting and how I can lead discussion so as not to embarrass anyone involved.  This feedback is invaluable to me and the study is perfect for them as well.  It's a win/win situation for all of us.

I truly cannot say enough good things about Sex by Design and what it means to me personally and ministerially.  Abby takes all of those really difficult conversations and makes them normal.  She is so kind and gracious and invites you into her world without reservation.  It is my belief that she does not realize the precious gem she has created and is now sharing with us all.  She offers a fresh approach to the why of purity and follows that with the how you walk it out as a follower of CHRIST.  She even stands alongside you without condemnation to point the WAY to redemption if you have made poor choices in your past.  Abby shares that JESUS offers grace and mercy and hope and is willing to lead us into the future as HIS.  How perfect is that?


I absolutely do not believe that you can go wrong by choosing to use Sex by Design in your family or even small group of friends.  Please visit the Sex by Design Facebook page for more information about this remarkable family and church resource.  I cannot recommend it to you highly enough.  It is simple phenomenal friends and I don't want your family to miss it.

I was given the opportunity to review Abby Ludvigson's Sex by Design:  Unpacking the Purpose and Practice of Purity as a member of the Homeschool Review Crew.   You can check out the Crew Review and see what other members of the Homeschool Review Crew thought of this purity resource kit (or just click on the banner below.)

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