Heart to Home and Back Again

It's well after midnight and I've just finished cleaning the kitchen from supper.  The dishwasher is humming away and the remains of the Taco Soup have been stored safely in the refrigerator.  I am not quite finished with today although tomorrow has already crept in.

Every day of this week has been much the same.  My emotions have run the full gamut of elation as I watched the HOPE of JESUS sparkle in the eyes of children from around the globe to deep sadness as I felt the DESPAIR of unexpected death.  I have laughed and I have cried.  I have stressed over deadlines looming and prayed over decisions coming this weekend when middle school students pray and study and worship together in discipleship and community.  I've written curriculum and divided friends into host homes,  I've designed t-shirts and orchestrated opportunities of rest -- for others.

I am a wife.  I am a mother.  I am a homeschooler.  I am a blogger.  I am a minister.
I am a failure with a FATHER who loves me.
I AM a Daughter of the KING.

But some days, I forget.  I speak harshly to my husband.  I disappoint my children.  I fail to show patience when teaching math or science.  I draw a blank on what to write.  I fail to pray enough or study enough or plan enough.  I forget to soak in HIM and I fail those who I promise to cherish most.

And then I need respite, and calm, and time to climb back into the arms of the ONE who TREASURES me most.  Due to the nature of my vocation (I serve on church staff as Preschool and Children's Minister AND MIddle School Minister), I don't often enter a Worship service at church. Instead I minister to little ones behind-the-scenes.  And it is well because HE carries me.

But sometimes, just sometimes, I relish the opportunity to pour out my heart to GOD in sweet abandon.  To lift my arms high and let cleansing tears stream down my face.  Because I AM a Daughter of the KING and HE knows my name.

This blogging wife, this homeschooling momma, this minister to others is tired and worn out and in need of being filled to overflowing -- so that I can continue to pour out HIS LOVE.

And that opportunity is just a few short hours from my home.  I can hear the {duck} calls now of the first-ever, inaugural Heart to Home Women's Conference where those beautifully spirited ladies of the Robertson family (yes, THOSE Duck Dynasty ladies) will be sharing grace and beauty and integrity wrapped in the overwhelming LOVE of JESUS.  Oh, how I long to be a part of what GOD is doing there -- knowing that I would return to my family full and renewed and revived and regenerated.

This is my wish and my dream and my desire.  One Family Christian Blogger will have the opportunity of a lifetime to meet and greet and praise and laugh and cry and dine and rest.  It may be me.  And if it is, I'll be soaking up the experience for us all.  I'll be sharing each step of the way with you -- as we carry our burdens to the cross and learn to leave them there.  I'll be praying for us to remain passionate at what we do best -- to love and honor and cherish and survive.

I'd love to rest in HIS sweet LOVE through an event orchestrated by others.  I'd be honored to wear the t-shirts and share the joy in this one FULL weekend that has nothing else scheduled on my calendar.  Is that a GOD thing or what?  "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

My soul finds rest in GOD alone, my salvation comes from HIM.  Psalm 62;1

Very rarely do we women share with each other when our world begins to crumble.  I've gingerly placed my heart before you in this post in hope that I might be allowed to represent Family Christian Bloggers on site at the Heart to Home Conference.  Please treat it tenderly and guard it accordingly.  I hope to give a first-hand account of life-change in the near future.


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